The Summer Experiment

Welcome to the test lab of a stay-at-home mom trying to figure out what comes next.

My husband called and was met with silence.

“Hello, are you there?”

I was there. But I knew if I started talking, I’d burst into tears. Curled up on a boucle chair with my knees pressed into my chest, that’s exactly what I did.

It was mid-afternoon, and I’d been parenting since 8 a.m. Despite my mom’s help that day, which even included a breakaway for a 30-minute Peloton ride, I felt completely overstimulated. The human equivalent of a tea kettle on a hot stove. Every “mama!” made my body tense, every meltdown nudged me closer to a high-pitched whistle.

He asked how my day was going. “I’m having a really hard time,” I said.

This wasn’t surprising to either of us. We both knew I’d been spending the last several months trying to determine whether I’m:

a) burned out from 2.5 years as a stay-at-home mom

b) ready to return to paid work

c) in desperate need of more childcare, or

d) some combination of all of the above

The correct answer is d.

It’s been 29 months since I started my “career pause” and 23 months since I published my first Substack essay. Which is to say: I’ve been showing up here nearly every week for the last two years¹ while raising two very young children and wondering what comes next professionally. What a privilege. How exhausting.

The most popular definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results. (I learned this in the carpet-clad rooms of AA, but I’m sure you could also find it on a magnet in someone’s Etsy shop.)

And yet there I was, venting to my husband again about how draining my mammoth yet meaningful caretaking job had become.

“You’re not happy,” he said. A beat of silence again, and then: “I’m really not.”²

The status quo was no longer working, yet I seemed to expect some Donni-clad fairy to tap my shoulder and reveal what came next. Insane.

Something has to change.

Which is why I’ve decided to spend the summer running a series of non-scientific-but-maybe-life-changing experiments. The goal? I stop asking myself, “What should I dooooo?” and start saying, “Let’s try this and see what happens.”

Over the next three months, I’ll explore a variety of experiments in hopes of gathering enough data to inform my next chapter—for Bang Voyage, my career, and several things in between. I’m nervous and excited, which is usually the dual-emotional state I’ve come to trust when making big decisions.

Welcome to The Summer Experiment. You don’t need a major crossroads to participate. Some experiments involve work, others involve pure joy, and at least one will definitely involve an outfit. Grab your chicest safety goggles, and let’s start testing.

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The Summer Experiment

First off, let’s be real. There are more experiments here than can realistically fit into one already jam-packed-summer. But relax. That’s intentional. Let’s consider this a choose-your-own adventure situation. Pick the ones that spark something and leave the rest.

👩🏻‍💻 Experiment No. 1: Career

The big question: What type of paid work do I want, and how much of it?

A good day “at the office” always includes something caffeinated, something in a paper bag, and my trusty Dina tote.

Experiments:

• Explore what freelance, consulting, and in-house opportunities actually exist

• Create a “dream projects” list, and shoot my shot on at least one of them

• Sneak into one of those Slack channels for elder millennials building things³

• Conduct three informational interviews with women whose careers intrigue me

• Take my writing seriously enough to pitch an editor

• Directly let people in my network know I’m open and curious

• Update my resume and LinkedIn, see what happens when I mark myself as “open to opportunities”

Data I’m collecting: What kind of work is possible? What skills do I enjoy using most? Does creative direction and/or brand building still feel right?

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🎨 Experiment No. 2: Creativity

The big question: What creative muscles do I want to strengthen?

I really miss staying up late prepping for a photoshoot—especially the ones I was able to direct from concept to execution. I drove to the desert at 4 a.m. the next morning for this one, and it was the best day ever.

Experiments:

• Use my digital camera or Camp Snap for an entire weekend (rather than my phone)

• Make mood boards just for fun, and at least one without Pinterest

• Style, direct, and shoot a make believe campaign

• Visit a museum and take notes of color combos + things that catch my eye

• Design a website for my portfolio, bonus points if I take my own headshots

• Buy a magazine and cut it up

• Sign up for a workshop or class that advances a genuine interest

Data I’m collecting: Which creative muscles need more practice? What could become work, and what should remain play?

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✍🏻 Experiment No. 3: Substack

The big question: What might make Bang Voyage even better?

It’s a bumpy ride, but we’re going up 🙏

Experiments:

• Collaborate with another creator in a different category⁴

• Get the ball rolling on an interview series I’ve been wanting to make since day one

• Survey readers about what they want more of⁵

• Revisit my most-loved essays and identify common threads

• Find a fun way to celebrate my two-year anniversary with you all

• Publish without checking the stats the next day⁶

Data I’m collecting: How can I continue growing Bang Voyage? What might make it more valuable, enjoyable, and sustainable?

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🤳🏻 Experiment No. 4: Social Media

The big question: Can social media become a useful tool rather than an emotional roller coaster?

Evidence of me trying on Instagram. Come follow and see if I can crack the code!

Experiments:

• Develop three repeatable templates

• Partner with a brand on a paid collaboration

• Test new ways to translate my Substack storytelling into compelling social content

• Ask someone I trust to honestly audit my Instagram

• Treat IG and TikTok like test labs rather than report cards

• Create content with zero expectations

Data I’m collecting: Is social media a worthwhile investment of my time and energy?

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🗓️ Experiment No. 5: Life Logistics

The big question: How much of my depletion is actually logistical?

And how much of my depletion just means I need to start taking these Good Bacteria probiotics I took home?

Experiments:

• Outsource at least one recurring task (and plz let it be laundry)

• Knock out my workouts in the morning instead of waiting until 5pm

• Buy a Brick (or use an app) to kick me off social media

• Schedule a babysitter on the weekend (for the first time omg)

• Stop saying yes to everything

• Sleep earlier, rise earlier

Data I’m collecting: What happens if I intentionally create more time, energy, and mental bandwidth?

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👛 Experiment No. 6: Style

The big question: Can I make getting dressed easier and more fun?

Hmm. It might be nice to start taking some outfit pics without a phone. See, I’m already learning.

Experiments:

• Document outfits consistently to identify my 10 MVPs

• Build a Bang Voyage-coded uniform

• Finally tailor the things that need tailoring

• Store the closet squatters in a “maybe later” box

• Accessorize like I’ve never accessorized before

• Figure out how to use The Real Real, like for real real

Data I’m collecting: How would I describe my style? What actually gets worn? Which pieces make me feel most like myself?

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🤸🏻 Experiment No. 7: Joy!!!!

The big question: What makes me feel genuinely good?

Joy is a movie theater!!!

Experiments:

• Take a week off! Maybe two.⁷

• Drive to the beach alone to journal and eat a poke bowl on the sand

• Take a dance class

• Watch a movie in the middle of the day

• Buy tickets for a live show (music and comedy both count)

• Host something low-stakes and just for fun

• More dates—with friends, my husband, and one-on-ones with my girls

Data I’m collecting: What improves my quality of life, and how can I do more of it?

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Some of these experiments will be dead ends. Some might fail to launch. But, hey, at least one could change everything. Either way, I’ll report back. And if you’ve been circling the same question for months, pick an experiment of your own and join me! Let me know what you’re testing so we can hype each other up along the way. 💚

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Thank you so much for reading! Publishing this newsletter on a weekly basis is a true labor of l-o-v-e! If you enjoy Bang Voyage, I’d be so grateful for your support.

A few easy ways to help:

• Like, comment, or share this post (every single one makes my entire day!)

• Buy me a coffee and fuel my caffeine addiction habit

• Or upgrade to a paid subscription (it’s so validating and means the world!)

• Follow me on Instagram 💚 (bc it’s fun to be friends on all the apps!)

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ICYMI, the last few issues of Bang Voyage:

Outfits for Tutu School, Playdates, and Putting in the Reps

Bangers Only, Vol. 3

An Rx for Modern Motherhood

1. Which has probably kept me in this position as a stay-at-home mom longer than I would have had I not had such a fulfilling creative practice on the side.

2. And to be so clear: I love being a mom. I love my kids.

3. Nicole Prince, I need you to remind me which channels to join!!!

4. If you think this might be you, hmu!!!

5. Oh, hey reader! What do you want more of?

6. Which is actually why I’m posting this a little later than usual <3

7. Already planning this for July ✌️