Elin you are such a TREASURE. Everything in here is so real and raw. Thank you for putting into words what literally every mom has felt at some point. I’m in awe that you can articulate all of this postpartum, let alone write it down for our benefit!!
Also s/o to Husband ❣️— his text response is perfect and proud of you for asking for what you needed in that moment.
(Ps. Ofc we’re both older sisters, Virgo rising duh)
I’m so happy you have an amazing husband and family around you — I also feel the same about us Substack-Mom-Friends 💗 I love all these gems of advice and hope you feel a little lighter sooner rather than later 🫶🏻
Yay I’m so glad! And OH I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU! Wishing you a smooth labor and speedy recovery. Here for you on the other side if you ever want to chat with a fellow new mom of two. You got this!
Sending this to new mama friends as a mental health check in. It’s a special, difficult time that’s super isolating. I love that text exchange with your husband — both your kind request for help and his supportive response ❤️
Loved this post so much Elin. Right there with you. I even get the pre-baby blues occasionally and also have been gravitating towards watching comedy specials at night which I didn’t realize was probably me subconsciously trying to cope!!! May I suggest Seth Meyers’s and Mike Burbiglia’s most recent Netflix specials for anyone in need!
Thank you, Katherine! The pre-baby blues are SO real, too. Hang in there, friend. And o-m-g I love Mike Birbiglia — dying to see his new special. My husband and I have watched “The New One” multiple times. Seth is the best, too. Laughter truly is medicine right now!
Every new mom should read this. Actually every expecting mom should read this before the baby comes and then revisit often!! I keep a note on my phone of mat-leave approved movies & TV shows and text it to everyone I know when they have a baby. I’ll never forget when one my girlfriends gently suggested that I might consider pausing the greys anatomy rewatch binge I had started when I was pregnant after I had my son because I was approaching seasons where the themes might be heavy. Thank goodness for that!!!
Thank you! 🥹 And every new mom should read YOUR fantastic list of movies/shows! Thank you so much for sharing it with us!!! Super smart to use the Notes app for that. And goooood call from your friend. Everyone has been raving about The Pitt which seems very similar to Greys but I don’t think I can go there yet either. Certain genres will truly never be the same after having kids. Bring on the laughs!
All of this is so relatable! My second is now 6 months old and I’ve been debating if I’m experiencing PPD or PPA or if parenting is just hard and 1 to 2 is a big transition…and the PPD screening test is so confusing “sure we’ll just say 0” 😆
I’m so glad you can relate! We’re in this together. I totally understand that internal debate. Some days can feel really hard. Feel free to DM me if you ever want to chat with another new mom of two 🫶🏼
My friend is 1 week pp and has the baby blues - I’ll be sending this to her. Thank you. Also, making lists and ticking off even the most basic things is what I’m doing right now (8 months pp) to make me feel like I’m doing something. Sometimes I even write things in my planner AFTER I’ve done them just so I can tick them off.😆
Of course! Mission accomplished on my end if this helps even just one person. And I’m definitely still adding those basic things to my daily checklists, too. Adding things after just to tick em off is the move! Such a morale booster to check tasks off, no matter how small. I hope you’re doing well at 8 months pp. It took me at least a year after my first to feel like “me” again. 💖
This was so good and gives me a little chill down my spine remembering my postpartum days. Your text to your husband is a testimony to your relationship with him because you said what you needed and he met you there.
Big picture, the most helpful thing for me was taking the time to REALLY evaluate what I needed and then ask for it. I remember my husband would say; why don’t you go out and I’ll watch the kids. But I realized that what I actually wanted was to be alone in our house and I had to tell him that he needed to take them out 🙃 it was a game changer.
Thank you, Kelly 🫶🏼 And yesssss! Communication truly is key!!!! I’m totally with you there. Just asking for what we need/want rather than waiting for them to read our minds (never gonna happen) is a win-win for everyone. I remember asking my husband to take my toddler out of the house QUITE a bit towards the end of my pregnancy 😂
The timing of the 6 week appointment was not good for me - I still felt really energized from the whole “meeting my baby” experience. At that appointment, they prescribed the birth control you can take while breastfeeding and within a week I was not in my right mind. I called my doctor and she told me to stop taking it immediately and it really made a difference within a few days. I had never heard anyone mention that before so I always throw it out there - there is SO much we are unprepared for!!! Thank you for writing this - it’s going to help more people than you’ll ever know!
Wow, I’m so glad you shared this and hope it reaches anyone who might have a similar experience with bc. Thank goodness going off helped within just a few days but that must have been a scary experience. POSTPARTUM IS A TRIP. We’re all at such different stages at 6 weeks pp dealing with totally different babies and households etc etc and it really is wild how much we’re unprepared for. Thank gawd we have each other 🙏🏻 and thank you for reading 🥹💖
Asking for help was the biggest learning curve. And asking for help has been the biggest well, help. The girlfriends who don’t have kids and come to the park with me or to the beach last minute just fill my heart. It’s those little moments or 2-3 hours where I feel so supported. So glad everyone is talking more about this sharp isolated feeling. It is lonely and it is wonderful. The nap while the baby naps I could never do. Now the baby doesn’t nap but I’m learning to put her in for quiet time and turn the monitor off for an hour.
I’m so glad we’re all talking about this more, too! It’s made me feel less alone for sure. “It is lonely and it is wonderful” really sums of the postpartum experience for many! I feel ya on the baby not napping anymore btw….my 2 year old just does “quiet time” (sort of) with a random miracle nap maybe (MAYBE) once a week. We’re in this together!!!
Elin you are such a TREASURE. Everything in here is so real and raw. Thank you for putting into words what literally every mom has felt at some point. I’m in awe that you can articulate all of this postpartum, let alone write it down for our benefit!!
Also s/o to Husband ❣️— his text response is perfect and proud of you for asking for what you needed in that moment.
(Ps. Ofc we’re both older sisters, Virgo rising duh)
🥹Thank you, Ariane!!!! Thank you for reading and supporting and being the best Substack friend a gal could ask for.
(Ps Ofc we are!!!!!)
Hacks was my go to pumping show!! So glad a new season came out. Great article
It’s so good!!! Thank you for reading 🫶🏼
Love that husband response. What a dude! Thank you for this piece. I’m saving it in a calendar link for post due date review.
He’s a keeper :) and thank YOU for reading. I’m so glad this was helpful! 💖
I’m so happy you have an amazing husband and family around you — I also feel the same about us Substack-Mom-Friends 💗 I love all these gems of advice and hope you feel a little lighter sooner rather than later 🫶🏻
Expecting baby#2 in about a week… also an eldest daughter/sister/niece/grandchild… hit home… love this practical list!
Yay I’m so glad! And OH I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU! Wishing you a smooth labor and speedy recovery. Here for you on the other side if you ever want to chat with a fellow new mom of two. You got this!
Thank you thank you!
Thank you for sharing this piece, I'm sure it will be so helpful to so many
(And thanks for the shout out, too!)
Love the vulnerability and active tips in this post! Thank you for normalizing this!
I’m so grateful to have a space to talk about it all!!! Thank you for reading xx
Sending this to new mama friends as a mental health check in. It’s a special, difficult time that’s super isolating. I love that text exchange with your husband — both your kind request for help and his supportive response ❤️
Thank you, Rachel! 💖
Loved this post so much Elin. Right there with you. I even get the pre-baby blues occasionally and also have been gravitating towards watching comedy specials at night which I didn’t realize was probably me subconsciously trying to cope!!! May I suggest Seth Meyers’s and Mike Burbiglia’s most recent Netflix specials for anyone in need!
Thank you, Katherine! The pre-baby blues are SO real, too. Hang in there, friend. And o-m-g I love Mike Birbiglia — dying to see his new special. My husband and I have watched “The New One” multiple times. Seth is the best, too. Laughter truly is medicine right now!
Every new mom should read this. Actually every expecting mom should read this before the baby comes and then revisit often!! I keep a note on my phone of mat-leave approved movies & TV shows and text it to everyone I know when they have a baby. I’ll never forget when one my girlfriends gently suggested that I might consider pausing the greys anatomy rewatch binge I had started when I was pregnant after I had my son because I was approaching seasons where the themes might be heavy. Thank goodness for that!!!
Thank you! 🥹 And every new mom should read YOUR fantastic list of movies/shows! Thank you so much for sharing it with us!!! Super smart to use the Notes app for that. And goooood call from your friend. Everyone has been raving about The Pitt which seems very similar to Greys but I don’t think I can go there yet either. Certain genres will truly never be the same after having kids. Bring on the laughs!
The list (last updated in 2023 so I know it has gaps!!!)
Shrill
Pen15
Emily in Paris
Younger
Pitch perfect 1-3
No strings attached
Grace & Frankie
The Intern
The Hating Game
To All The Boys I've Loved Before
Something's Gotta Give
It's Complicated
Anything w Glenn Powell
Bridesmaids
Sex Lives of College Girls
SO MANY GOOD ONES. Bridesmaids forever 💖
Related to this so hard (esp now!!). Thank you for putting into words all the things I’ve been thinking in my noggin! ❤️❤️
Ah, I bet!!!! Congratulations again! I hope you’re doing well and am here for you whenever you want/need another friend on the stack to talk to 🫶🏼
All of this is so relatable! My second is now 6 months old and I’ve been debating if I’m experiencing PPD or PPA or if parenting is just hard and 1 to 2 is a big transition…and the PPD screening test is so confusing “sure we’ll just say 0” 😆
I’m so glad you can relate! We’re in this together. I totally understand that internal debate. Some days can feel really hard. Feel free to DM me if you ever want to chat with another new mom of two 🫶🏼
My friend is 1 week pp and has the baby blues - I’ll be sending this to her. Thank you. Also, making lists and ticking off even the most basic things is what I’m doing right now (8 months pp) to make me feel like I’m doing something. Sometimes I even write things in my planner AFTER I’ve done them just so I can tick them off.😆
Of course! Mission accomplished on my end if this helps even just one person. And I’m definitely still adding those basic things to my daily checklists, too. Adding things after just to tick em off is the move! Such a morale booster to check tasks off, no matter how small. I hope you’re doing well at 8 months pp. It took me at least a year after my first to feel like “me” again. 💖
Thank you! It takes time doesn’t it.♥️
This was so good and gives me a little chill down my spine remembering my postpartum days. Your text to your husband is a testimony to your relationship with him because you said what you needed and he met you there.
Big picture, the most helpful thing for me was taking the time to REALLY evaluate what I needed and then ask for it. I remember my husband would say; why don’t you go out and I’ll watch the kids. But I realized that what I actually wanted was to be alone in our house and I had to tell him that he needed to take them out 🙃 it was a game changer.
Thank you, Kelly 🫶🏼 And yesssss! Communication truly is key!!!! I’m totally with you there. Just asking for what we need/want rather than waiting for them to read our minds (never gonna happen) is a win-win for everyone. I remember asking my husband to take my toddler out of the house QUITE a bit towards the end of my pregnancy 😂
The timing of the 6 week appointment was not good for me - I still felt really energized from the whole “meeting my baby” experience. At that appointment, they prescribed the birth control you can take while breastfeeding and within a week I was not in my right mind. I called my doctor and she told me to stop taking it immediately and it really made a difference within a few days. I had never heard anyone mention that before so I always throw it out there - there is SO much we are unprepared for!!! Thank you for writing this - it’s going to help more people than you’ll ever know!
Wow, I’m so glad you shared this and hope it reaches anyone who might have a similar experience with bc. Thank goodness going off helped within just a few days but that must have been a scary experience. POSTPARTUM IS A TRIP. We’re all at such different stages at 6 weeks pp dealing with totally different babies and households etc etc and it really is wild how much we’re unprepared for. Thank gawd we have each other 🙏🏻 and thank you for reading 🥹💖
Asking for help was the biggest learning curve. And asking for help has been the biggest well, help. The girlfriends who don’t have kids and come to the park with me or to the beach last minute just fill my heart. It’s those little moments or 2-3 hours where I feel so supported. So glad everyone is talking more about this sharp isolated feeling. It is lonely and it is wonderful. The nap while the baby naps I could never do. Now the baby doesn’t nap but I’m learning to put her in for quiet time and turn the monitor off for an hour.
I’m so glad we’re all talking about this more, too! It’s made me feel less alone for sure. “It is lonely and it is wonderful” really sums of the postpartum experience for many! I feel ya on the baby not napping anymore btw….my 2 year old just does “quiet time” (sort of) with a random miracle nap maybe (MAYBE) once a week. We’re in this together!!!