This really spoke to me. Last year I worked full time and studied full time while pregnant. For the last 6 months I've been a SAHM, and I'm more exhausted now. Thank you for sharing your experiences and your wisdom! 💜
Jen! Wow, working/studying full time while pregnant is impressive, AND so is what you’re doing now. I’m so glad this resonated for you. We’re not alone 🫶🏼 (and please know I’m just a DM away if you ever want to chat!)
Ugh, nailed it! I can relate to so much here. After both my kids, I returned to work, but agonizeddd over it. Thought about quitting daily, but ultimately was able to work out a part-time situation both times. I too wonder what would have been different had I had a year, or even 6 months. 8-12 weeks is just not enough! But we all know that 🙃
yes yes and yes! thank you for sharing…and for writing again! I was previously a lawyer and now also use a similar elevator pitch and consider writing a job (doubling as a creative outlet) Its so special to find people in similar life circumstances 🥰 it all hit
IT'S SO SPECIAL! I had no idea we were in such similar eras. I absolutely *love* what you're doing on this platform, and it makes me so happy to know we have more in common right now than I thought. Thank you for reading and sharing your words, too! I'm so glad we both made it here. <3
Imagine me scrolling this and screaming YES at my phone the whole time. You nailed it so well 18 months in. I am especially glad you noted that SAHMs can be ambitious too AND that a partner makes/breaks it. Those feel particularly true.
YES back atcha because that makes me so happy to hear!!! And gosh, yea — the partner one I learned pretty quickly, but realizing that SAHMs can be just as ambitious as your favorite CEO took me a little longer. You definitely inspire me, Kelly. 🫶🏼
Elin this was sooooo beautiful and relatable. I’m not a SAHM but it doesn’t matter— so much of what you describe impacts all moms, regardless of their work status. I found myself nodding and mouthing “yes! yes!” all throughout this post!! Thank you for your honesty and sharing! It helps other moms realize they’re not alone xx
Thank you so much!!! I kept asking Tommy last night, “This doesn’t sound at all like I’m creating competition between ‘working’ moms and SAHM’s, right???” So I’m really glad this has resonated for all moms, no matter their 9-5 title — that was the hope. I’ve learned from being in both shoes that we’re all just doing the best we can, and it’s all hard! We need each other. ❤️
Very well put. All of it. I left a career of 20 years to have my kids (yes I had them “late”). It was hard and I don’t regret any of it, not waiting and having a full career or leaving it to have a new career as a SAHM which definitely didn’t involve staying home much. Hang in there. You’re in the hardest part.
Yes to all of this!! As someone who just hit their one year anniversary of SAHM life, I related to all of this so much and it helped me feel a little more seen (and sane lol) so thank you for sharing!
Thank you, and yes!!! I love, love, love Neha’s work in destigmatizing stay-at-home mothering — The Power Pause was a great (and quick!) read. I’m actually thinking about rereading it again.
I took 13 months off after having my daughter (I’ve written a lot about my postpartum experiences here) and it was such a wild adjustment—so much harder than I could have ever imagined.
It’s the constant being on edge and low-level anxiety (have they eaten enough? When are they going to sleeeep?). The myriad interruptions. The bone-tiredness. The inability to think coherently after a sleepless night. It’s a high-stakes environment that is unpredictable and always changing, making my job feel like a breeze, in contrast.
Lan! Thank you for your words, too. You totally get it. I’m starting my day on broken sleep (again) and your comment gave me the chills — “the constant being on edge and low-level anxiety” nails it. Looking forward to following your writing. We’re in this wilderness together, and what a comfort that is. 🫶🏼
Elin, I so wish my "little kids" era self had had something like this to read!!! I always remember looking back on the first year with a new baby and feeling like "woah, how did I just DO that?" almost like people who find the adrenaline to lift cars or something. Nothing prepares you for the challenge of being a SAHM or being a stay at home / work from home mom OR being an office mom- all of which is to say "nothing prepares you for how truly hard being a mom is!!" Not that it's without joy and epic highs, but, well, you know: you've captured this with so much heart and soul.
Thank you so much, Jennifer! You totally get it. The adrenaline to lift cars (despite the sleep deprivation) is so real. And you’re so right, nothing prepares you for any of it! And yet somehow we figure it all out. Every mom I know is my hero. <3
This really spoke to me. Last year I worked full time and studied full time while pregnant. For the last 6 months I've been a SAHM, and I'm more exhausted now. Thank you for sharing your experiences and your wisdom! 💜
Jen! Wow, working/studying full time while pregnant is impressive, AND so is what you’re doing now. I’m so glad this resonated for you. We’re not alone 🫶🏼 (and please know I’m just a DM away if you ever want to chat!)
Ugh, nailed it! I can relate to so much here. After both my kids, I returned to work, but agonizeddd over it. Thought about quitting daily, but ultimately was able to work out a part-time situation both times. I too wonder what would have been different had I had a year, or even 6 months. 8-12 weeks is just not enough! But we all know that 🙃
You get it!!!! 🥹🫶🏼
Ps. So glad you found writing again through it all 🫶
Me too because we found each other 👯♀️
yes yes and yes! thank you for sharing…and for writing again! I was previously a lawyer and now also use a similar elevator pitch and consider writing a job (doubling as a creative outlet) Its so special to find people in similar life circumstances 🥰 it all hit
IT'S SO SPECIAL! I had no idea we were in such similar eras. I absolutely *love* what you're doing on this platform, and it makes me so happy to know we have more in common right now than I thought. Thank you for reading and sharing your words, too! I'm so glad we both made it here. <3
ABSOLUTELY <3
Imagine me scrolling this and screaming YES at my phone the whole time. You nailed it so well 18 months in. I am especially glad you noted that SAHMs can be ambitious too AND that a partner makes/breaks it. Those feel particularly true.
YES back atcha because that makes me so happy to hear!!! And gosh, yea — the partner one I learned pretty quickly, but realizing that SAHMs can be just as ambitious as your favorite CEO took me a little longer. You definitely inspire me, Kelly. 🫶🏼
SO true!!!
You should read the Power Pause - I had the pleasure of interviewing Neha a couple months ago and her book really changed my perspective on SAHM
I did — as soon as it came out! Neha’s work has really helped validate and empower my experience as a SAHM. Dream interview, btw!
Thank you for sharing this. I’m so inspired by you and really admire that you took a career pause. Being a SAHM is one of the hardest jobs!
Thank you for reading this! It’s so hard, it’s ALL hard. I appreciate you 🫶🏼
Elin this was sooooo beautiful and relatable. I’m not a SAHM but it doesn’t matter— so much of what you describe impacts all moms, regardless of their work status. I found myself nodding and mouthing “yes! yes!” all throughout this post!! Thank you for your honesty and sharing! It helps other moms realize they’re not alone xx
Thank you so much!!! I kept asking Tommy last night, “This doesn’t sound at all like I’m creating competition between ‘working’ moms and SAHM’s, right???” So I’m really glad this has resonated for all moms, no matter their 9-5 title — that was the hope. I’ve learned from being in both shoes that we’re all just doing the best we can, and it’s all hard! We need each other. ❤️
Def not. It was so comforting to know we are ALL in the same boat. We all just have different roles on the boat!!
And that damn boat is always threatening to sink, but we got this!!!!
Very well put. All of it. I left a career of 20 years to have my kids (yes I had them “late”). It was hard and I don’t regret any of it, not waiting and having a full career or leaving it to have a new career as a SAHM which definitely didn’t involve staying home much. Hang in there. You’re in the hardest part.
Thank you so much! That means a lot. I love hearing that you have no regrets (and also that it gets easier.) 🫶🏼
Yes to all of this!! As someone who just hit their one year anniversary of SAHM life, I related to all of this so much and it helped me feel a little more seen (and sane lol) so thank you for sharing!
Oh I see you, girl!!! Happy one year of doing the damn thing, and thank you so much for reading! 💕
What a great relatable read! It sounds like you’ve read The Power Pause by Neha Ruch. No?
Stepping into life as a full time stay at home mum is hard indeed and I wake up everyday wondering why it’s unrecognized just because it’s unpaid.
Thank you, and yes!!! I love, love, love Neha’s work in destigmatizing stay-at-home mothering — The Power Pause was a great (and quick!) read. I’m actually thinking about rereading it again.
Stay at home -- we do not!! Love this one so much!! You really have a way of saying what i'm often thinking. Thanks for sharing <3
Thank you, friend! Can you imagine if we stayed at home? I’d go fully insane. See you Friday!!! 💖
Nope! Also can't imagine if we didn't have each other and coffee. Total survival essentials. See you Friday!
I took 13 months off after having my daughter (I’ve written a lot about my postpartum experiences here) and it was such a wild adjustment—so much harder than I could have ever imagined.
It’s the constant being on edge and low-level anxiety (have they eaten enough? When are they going to sleeeep?). The myriad interruptions. The bone-tiredness. The inability to think coherently after a sleepless night. It’s a high-stakes environment that is unpredictable and always changing, making my job feel like a breeze, in contrast.
Thank you for your words.
Lan! Thank you for your words, too. You totally get it. I’m starting my day on broken sleep (again) and your comment gave me the chills — “the constant being on edge and low-level anxiety” nails it. Looking forward to following your writing. We’re in this wilderness together, and what a comfort that is. 🫶🏼
I’ve never been a SAHM but so much of this resonated.
I’m so glad to hear that!!! The shared experience is real.
yes, thank you for putting it into words so beautifully. We need more of each other being real!
Elin, I so wish my "little kids" era self had had something like this to read!!! I always remember looking back on the first year with a new baby and feeling like "woah, how did I just DO that?" almost like people who find the adrenaline to lift cars or something. Nothing prepares you for the challenge of being a SAHM or being a stay at home / work from home mom OR being an office mom- all of which is to say "nothing prepares you for how truly hard being a mom is!!" Not that it's without joy and epic highs, but, well, you know: you've captured this with so much heart and soul.
Thank you so much, Jennifer! You totally get it. The adrenaline to lift cars (despite the sleep deprivation) is so real. And you’re so right, nothing prepares you for any of it! And yet somehow we figure it all out. Every mom I know is my hero. <3
Oh, house manager viewed as a SEP.AR.ATE. job. Brilliant.
It truly is!!!